3 Things Occupy Can Learn From Market Basket

September 19, 2014

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Market-basket-p-nh.jpg

If you’re from the Northeast U.S. like me, your summer news cycle was likely taken up by the Market Basket protests. If you are from anywhere else, you probably have no fucking idea what I’m talking about, so I’ll try to get you up to speed.

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Fuck You Shark Week

August 15, 2014

http://www.examiner.com/article/shark-week-continues-to-ride-high-ratings-tide-sharpocalypse-airs-tonight

I am a smart person, but even I have a major cognitive weakness. It’s called the appeal to authority. If someone who should be trusting, like a doctor, says something that seems like it’s right, why would I question it? The problem is that sometimes I’m too trusting and then feel like an idiot afterwards. If he tells me Flintstone’s Vitamins prevent colds, then by God I’ll throw the whole family in my mouth every morning.

On Sunday night, to kick off their annual Shark Week event, Discovery Channel aired a special called Sharknado, sorry Submarine: Shark of Darkness. The documentary supposedly told the story of a whale watch in South Africa that hit some rocks and sank earlier this year. Two people were attacked and killed by a giant 40-foot shark named Submarine. The most amazing part is that almost all of it was caught on cell phone footage.

The show was riveting. Some things about the story did seem a little weird. Like, given what I knew about how rare shark attacks were, it’s amazing that this wasn’t a bigger news story especially since it was all captured on film. Or the fact that someone on the boat pulled out their phone on the off the chance that Jaws was real. Why was a whale watch boat driving through a place known as Shark Alley? Never mind. They had experts, and scientific analysis. To someone who doesn’t know that much about sharks (me) it all just seemed right. Why would I question it? It’s not like a science channel would knowingly air a fake documentary. I wanted to find out more about this Submarine shark!

Well don’t I feel dumb.

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If Everyone’s Now An Expert, Why Are We So Stupid?

June 16, 2014

Head in Hands

There exists a secret debate technique that is unstoppable. Practically no one ever utilizes this trick, yet everybody can do it easily, without any practice at all. Even better: you barely have to know any details about the topic at hand. The next time you argue politics with your drunk Uncle at dinner and he won’t budge on the fact that playing heavy metal causes cancer…break out your smartphone and Google it.

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If Your Beer Has “Technology” It Probably Sucks

May 5, 2014

Bud-Light-So-Cool-Image

While watching Hulu one day, I came across something curious: an ad. And no, it wasn’t because it’s bullshit that Hulu’s paid service still has ad breaks, when for the same price I can shuffle through 8 seasons of Always Sunny on Netflix without having anything shoved in my face (other than Coors Light product placement, but we’ll get to that). The ad was curious because the content was something I hadn’t really seen before: honesty, with ever the slightest hint of condescension. And by hint I mean Oh God so much.

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3 Stupid Reasons Pop Music Is Getting Even Worse

March 24, 2014

http://www.mtv.com/artists/miley-cyrus/photos/8437710/

Sure, calling out the pop music industry for the drivel that it is can hardly be considered “edgy” anymore. However, if you follow me slightly beneath the surface, past all the weird lyrics and the autotune, we”ll look at how rapidly changing technologies and shifting cultural norms are going to have a lasting effect that is changing music forever (and not necessarily for the best). For example:

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4 Creepy Ways The Sochi Olympics Turned Into A Sci-Fi Totalitarian Nightmare

February 21, 2014

http://en.ria.ru/world/20130208/179289078.html

Anyone who knows me (or reads me), knows I’m a huge fan of the Olympics. They are the only sports I watch, and although I can’t quite put my finger on it, I think the reason they are so compelling is because the stakes appear to be so high. We have entire countries battling each other not with missiles but with the fastest, most athletic people they have. There’s more national pride at stake than any other international sporting event other than the World Cup, except the Olympics don’t suck. And while you’ll never catch me dead watching Couple’s Ice Dancing or Balance Beam Hippity-Hopping any other day of the week, every two years I’ll be glued to the T.V. like glitter on an elementary school art project.

So here we are in the midst of Russia’s Winter Olympics, being held in a town so subtropical it has palm trees. And while lamestream news outlets have been focused on medal counts, the country’s openly-encouraged gay-bashing, or freakin’ Chobani yogurt, many have missed the most ridiculous stuff that has been going on behind the scenes. Not only do these things confirm every stereotype I’ve ever had about Russia, it further proves that the cold war has simply turned into a wintery mix and it’s as awesome as ever. Here’s some of the stuff you might have missed:

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How To Motivate Yourself By Gamify-ing Your Life

January 27, 2014

http://gameuzz.canalblog.com/archives/2013/07/31/27753748.html

Welcome to 2014. I gave it a few weeks just to make sure that the Sun didn’t explode (if you are reading this via time machine, I guess I was wrong). A lot of you have made resolutions that you very likely have already broken. Many have fallen for the big sale at the gym, where if you had taken ten seconds to do the math out you would have realized that it would cost you 17 dollars every time you go. So what’s the problem? Maybe you feel lazy, or unmotivated, or have one more Animus Fragment to collect in Assassin’s Creed. But I’m here to tell you that there’s a way to take those negative characteristics and put them to work for you.

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