3 Stupid Christmas Songs We Need To Stop Playing

December 16, 2013


Other than sending our tax money to the Pentagon, there is nothing we Americans do more mindlessly and without regard for consequence than listen to Christmas music. For some reason, we’ve been throwing on the same records for decades without any irony at all but somehow we haven’t taken two seconds to ask ourselves why we are still listening to them. Now that we have the Internet, there is no excuse for this, and the first step for all of us was to admit that “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” was really about a woman who is unable to leave a man’s house after drinking a mystery cocktail. Here’s a few more that we should leave to history.

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How I Learned To Love Horror

October 28, 2013

For the vast majority of my life, I’ve been scared of horror movies. I can’t even remember the first one I ever saw, but it must to have been bad enough to turn me off of them forever (maybe Grease 2? That was a horror movie, right?). For years, I had avoided every Friday the 13th, every Nightmare on Elm Street, every Saw, and every music video by Marylyn Manson. That was until my friends forced me to watch Saw II. I did not want to. I pleaded and pleaded. I would rather have eaten off-brand Boo Berries in a bowl of spoiled milk. But they had me outmatched. So, in protest, I watched the entire movie through a little slit in my fingers with morbid curiosity like an 8-year-old girl.

Oh, also, I was a freshman in college.

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4 Life Lessons You Learn On A Caribbean Cruise Vacation

September 30, 2013


Exactly a year ago, I, my girlfriend, and another couple went on a Caribbean cruise vacation. Man, if I gave myself timely writing deadlines I would have fired myself by now.

Before I went, I had some misconceptions. Now that I’ve gone, I honestly think cruises get a bad rap. Especially since Carnival apparently decided to hire a bunch of 5-year-olds as executives (“HAHA! Let’s play with Poop!”). There are always 3 types of people in the cruise world: those who went once in the 80’s, had a horrible experience, and vowed never to return, those who need toes and fingers to count how many times they’ve gone, and those who have never been. The truth is, if you know what you are getting into, it can be a great experience. My first time was probably the most fun vacation I ever had. Here are the life lessons I learned that extended far beyond into my real life:

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State of The Blog: Year 1

September 2, 2013

Today is the one year anniversary of me buckling down and starting this blog (well technically, it was on September 3rd but calendars suck). I’ve had a ton of fun so far, and I haven’t given up yet, so that’s a good sign.

I’d like to take a minute to look back on the most interesting things that have happened in the last year with me doing this, and maybe to even include some of the things I’ve learned so at least it’s educational. (For those of you wondering, a more substantial post is coming at the end of the month, so quit your blabbering. This is just for fun.)

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5 Real Reasons Why It’s Impossible To Find A Job

August 5, 2013


Last month, I started my career as a freelance writer/borderline homeless person. Although I have some other sources of income, my day is mostly going to be dedicated to writing. It’s something I really want to try, and if I fail, it will at least be spectacular in scale.

This decision comes in the wake of the fact that I have spent the last year and a half actively (and passively) job hunting to no avail. I’ve concluded that it’s become a waste of my time and, like an angry teenager, quit out of protest. I also bought black eyeliner and plan on telling my mom that she can’t make me do something in the near future.

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July 3, 2013


If you want to figure out what freedom means to you, take your favorite thing and then realize you wouldn’t be able to do that thing in Saudi Arabia because your Internet would be censored.

Every year on July 3rd, my Dad takes my family to the Boston July 4th rehearsal show (it’s the same show minus fireworks). Through a business connection, he gets us VIP passes that put us right up front and grants us access backstage. Using this pass, I’ve met Dr. Phil, the Rascal Flatts, Michael Chiklis, (almost) David Lee Roth and Aerosmith, Craig Ferguson at least four times, and Keith Lockhart many more. We’ve gone every year for almost a decade.

But this year is going to be different. With the bombings a couple months ago, it is likely to be a more somber, yet patriotic show.  My guess is that record numbers will be in attendance. Also on scene will be a ridiculous increase in security. No backpacks, coolers, or liquids. Oh great.

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Site Update: Summer 2013

May 20, 2013


So I’m going to have to take a short break from this blog because of imminent personal factors (AKA job searching 24/7). As I said before, I love doing it, but it takes a TON of my time. So much so that I can’t even play videogames for 6 hours a day. You are keeping me from that. How does that make you feel?

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